It's nearly impossible to do it yourself. I my self am not an alcoholic but my father was and he died at the age of 49. My 29 year old bother struggles with it, I keep telling him he need help and he insists he can do it himself. He does good for about 3 to 5 month and then he relapses (it's sometimes shorter or longer) He's already been in the hospital with kidney failure. I found two free rehabs for him, one in Jersey and one in Texas. The one in Texas is a 9 month program because they don't believe you can fix an addiction problem in 30 days. He has to call them himself and he won't. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you can pull through specially for your children. I think and cry for my Dad all the time. My children will never know him. I'm not trying to give you a sob story, but maybe if someone talked to my Dad about how he was affecting his children, maybe he would have seeked help. Again I wish you the best of luck.