@Scooter9 thank you, I know I'll be okay it'll just take time. I don't know how to explain myself. Especially verbally. Everything I go through is mainly internal. I don't know how to explain myself. I wish I wasn't as paranoid because then maybe I could send her a message right before our session to say everything I need to because I won't say it in session. I "enjoy" looking out together and I fear hospitalization. I have two days to figure out what to do with my hair.