Thanks, scarlet. It was kind of a relief. I felt like i was holding my breath before.

I didnt realize how much i was imitating my mothers emotional coping mechanisms, which pretty much involved dumping my feelings on other people, and being passive aggressive, and emotional eating. Just not taking responsibility for how dam pushy i was. A few people called me out on it, but while it hurt, those incidents werent enough to change me.

ETA - I mean, they did not make a DENT. I was in therapy, but not good therapy!