I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, Scarlet. I'm wondering: Is this similar to something else you've dealt with in life, maybe as a child? Realizing that a parent wasn't safe and secure, for example? So maybe you're reexperiencing that in a way?

And/or thinking that she's the one person for you who is truly safe and accepting, and now she isn't, so you feel a loss of hope? It makes me think of how I felt when ex-MC was rejecting after my love email (been talking about that a bit lately with Dr. T). Where I put all this hope and trust in him. And it also showed me that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Just wondering if some of that could be going on for your, too. Like "I have lost my chance at safety and security."