For some reason, while lithium isn't straight up considered first line treatment for depression, there is a lot of evidence for it lowering suicidal ideation if that's an issue for you.
I'm not at all a psychiatrist, but just for my $0.02 I'm gonna agree that lamictal would probably be your best bet, followed by lithium if we're just going for those three. I'd be afraid to put myself on an SNRI like Effexor if I were having increased impulsivity.
For curiosity's sake, have you ever been on antipsychotics other than Abilify?