Please do not stay with someone like this, who won’t commit to you. I know that it started off as “fwb” relationship for 9 years now, but if he still doesn’t want to fully be in a committed relationship with you, it’s best for you to leave him. I know it must be hard for you, as you started to really fall in love with him. But he still just wants to string you along. Please don’t waste your youth and love on someone who can’t love you completely. The only option he’s ever going to give you is just “fwb”. If you choose that option then you cannot ever expect him to love you 100%.

Because, if he really wanted to, he would have already. I know my words are very harsh to you, and it breaks my heart to say these words to you. But, as someone who has recently lost 20 years to a guy who wasn’t worthy, I pray you won’t have to waste decades on someone who can’t love you fully. Please let him go and find someone who can be on the same level of love as you. I’m sure he cares for you, but not enough to be devoted to you. I hope you can find someone else, that can truly love you. So you can get the love you that you deserve. Sending you love and strength.