@ Tart Cherry Jam

Yes, one lessoned that I learned from this is to trust my intuition completely. In the future if I sense something wrong I would immediately, do whatever I can to avoid letting others hurt me. I wouldn't keep giving them many chances to do right. Because in some instances, they don’t want to correct their wrongdoings, and only wanna keep hurting you. I guess it was, because in the past, I loved him and wanted to give him a chance. I thought hmmmm I’ve already spent like 13 yrs with him, let’s give it one more try. Maybe it would work out. But I could not for the life of me sign the paperwork. He even went as far as tell me, he will write in his will, to leave his business and everything he owns to me once we get married. But those things didn’t matter to me, I needed to feel in my soul he would be loyal. But neither my heart or my brain would allow it. So yes I stayed so long because I did love him, but I couldn’t marry him because I felt there might be a chance he would cheat again.

I didn’t want to have to end up in divorce and deal with legal stuff. And I’m glad I didn’t go through with it. In the end, my intuition was right, he wasn’t trustworthy, and wouldn’t have been a good husband to me. I think to myself now, oh God what type of man leaves his 20 yr partner, 1 week after major surgery to marry someone else. That’s not someone I would be proud having as a husband. I know you said earlier, that I can still try again, to form some other relationship. But I’ve decided that he will be the last. I can’t imagine myself being in a relationship ever again, because I’m scared of being hurt again. I rather not take that gamble. I think that's the best option for me, even if I end up alone, it’s better than loving someone that will destroy your soul, heart and spirit. I wanna thank you for your advice. In the future I will 100% trust my intuition and let it guide me the right way.


@ SquarePegGuy

In the past I never thought to use forums to discuss my life issues. This is the first time. It’s because, what has happened nearly killed my soul and my spirit. It’s so bad that, I’ve cannot express my pain to loved ones. That’s why I’m here sharing my pain with you fine forks. My family doesn’t understand why I’m still in pain. That I should “just get over it”, “you’re so stupid wasting 20 yrs your life with him”, and that “he’s married someone else stop talking about him”. I really wished and pray to God daily, to please let me forget all of it please let me heal. But in honesty, I just cant forget someone I spent most of my life with so fast. Even if they were the worst ever! I really hate myself, that I can’t just erase everything. I really really really want to, but my heart is CRAZY! Ugh, I really am trying to forget it all, but I don’t know how. That’s why I’m here, so maybe someone can help me find a way out of this pain. I have never did affirmations or meditation. But starting today, because of you, I will look into meditation. I will go find stuff about it. I prayed to God daily for clarity and direction. Maybe this is the answer, strangers on the internet, that are willing to help you with solutions. All from the kindness of their hearts. Thank you for giving my suggestions, that I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. I hope and pray it will help me, get out the the hell that I’m in. God bless you and thanks again for taking time out to help me.