Hugs, Scarlet. I also struggle with the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship.

I forget whether I posted about this at all, so if I did, sorry for the repeat. But something that I talked about with Dr. T recently is I was saying how I hate that I'm just this tiny blob in his life. And he said that when I'm in session with him, that I'm a big blob. How even his wife and son are just tiny blobs at that time. Like, basically, I'm the only person he's focused on and thinking about for those 50 minutes.

The therapeutic relationship is very confusing though. For many of the reasons you mention. But that doesn't mean it's not valuable or that it's not real.