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“I have to eat with them”. So it’s either be homeless or sit at the dinner table. They said dinner time is the ONLY important time, where everyone can come together and connect to one another. Everyone follows this rule not just me. But how can I bond or connect with them when I’m getting abused? !
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Set a boundary - tell sil that you agreed to share a meal with them, fine. The aim, as specified by sil is to ''connect'', fine. BUT if you are getting abused, how is that connecting? I would tell sil calmly: I am eating with you, as part of the agreement, but I am not going to be abused because that is NOT part of the agreement. If I am abused, I will retire to my room. This is *your* boundary. Doesn't matter what sil says to excuse brother - you tell her, this is not part of the deal (being abused) & if I am abused, this is what I will do.
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I would argue back , get into cussing and everything. I am the type of person, that doesn’t like people saying false things about me.
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From now on, when he attacks you, do not respond. Ignore and remove yourself from the environment.