Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
Set a boundary - tell sil that you agreed to share a meal with them, fine. The aim, as specified by sil is to ''connect'', fine. BUT if you are getting abused, how is that connecting? I would tell sil calmly: I am eating with you, as part of the agreement, but I am not going to be abused because that is NOT part of the agreement. If I am abused, I will retire to my room. This is *your* boundary. Doesn't matter what sil says to excuse brother - you tell her, this is not part of the deal (being abused) & if I am abused, this is what I will do.
From now on, when he attacks you, do not respond. Ignore and remove yourself from the environment.
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@ Rive.
I have pleaded with her so many times to please let me excuse myself. But she will never let me go. I still have to stand there on the kitchen island, and eat with them even if I’m in tears. I told her it’s not fair that I’m being abused like this. But it doesn’t matter to her. She still just wants me to be part of the family, by having dinner with her and the kids.
I have asked her at least 10 times, and every single time she said that’s not part of the deal. So I don’t even know if they’re just wanting me to be the scapegoat, if I’m there he’s just gonna abuse me and not them. Because when I’m not here, he does that to them. That’s what they told me.
I will definitely not engage with him anymore. I would still have to say hi and be cordial, however, if he starts anything with me, I’m just gonna say a one liner that I’ve learned on the Internet and try to run away.
* that's nice
* oh okay
* that's interesting
* maybe
* I don't know
* "I'm sorry you feel that way..."
* "i see."
* i don't have any opinion about