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I have pleaded with her so many times to please let me excuse myself. But she will never let me go [...] I told her it’s not fair that I’m being abused like this. [...] But it doesn’t matter to her. [...] I have asked her at least 10 times.
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That is what I was saying in my earlier post: you keep asking permission, you beg her, you plead with her, you complain how it is unfair... this is how a child would behave. You have given away all your power.
What I am saying is you inform her (you do not ask, you do not beg, you do not plead) that you will remove yourself IF you are abused. Period. Whether she likes it or not is irrelevant. Whether she excuses brother's abuse or not is irrelevant. You tell her: I agreed to eat with you, I did not and do not agree to being abused. THEN you follow through.
As for her not letting you, how can she force you? You are an adult. You choose. You remove yourself.