I was a very young child growing up in a third world country in Europe. Around 5 to 7 years in age when the event happened, I can't remember exactly (I'm 42 now).
We lived in a multi-family building in the city. My parents would let me go outside to play, completely unsupervised at such a young age. They'd let me go and play for hours, pretty much anywhere while they were in the house.
One day, me and another childhood friend from the same building, same age, were playing outside together and got taken, abducted, by two older boys. I don't know their age, maybe just under 20 or so if I had to guess.
After done, they took us back to where they abducted us from and told us not to tell our parents or very bad things would happen.
After a week I built up the courage to tell my dad. The next day he took me to a neighborhood he believed the criminal boys might live based on the description I gave him and we actually found them. My dad took them to the police station and I don't know what happened to them (prob. not much).
I had successfully erased this memory from my mind for most of my life in order live a normal life. Honestly it has never been an issue given how much I actually managed to erase this memory from my head.
I moved to US when I was 11 with my family. I managed to grow up fine, build an above average career and life for myself, successful. I have an incredible, beautiful wife and two amazing kids.
Everything was fine and I've maintained a decent relationship with my parents, until the recent birth of my second child, my son. My first child is my daugher. I think this horific memory might have been re-triggered for the first time in 36 years perhaps because I see how precious and innocent my son is, how he needs my full protection always. I would protect him with my life and die for him.
It has made me think, boys are just as precious and fragile and need the same level of protection. How could my parents have allowed this to happen to me, let me down so badly, did not protect me?
I'm at the point now where extreme anxiety has been triggered due to my parent's failure to protect me as a young child. I have a choice to make.
A) Forgive them and continue to allow them to visit and see their grandchidren.
B) Cut them off competely and never allow them to see their grandchildren ever again, never go to their funerals. For what they allowed to happen to me.
I am the type of person that has tendency to take extreme measures so I really would love to know what others feel they would do in this situation. I want to take action that isn't overly emotional or unnecessarily extreme given that the result could affect many in the family.
Some key facts: In this third world country, it was pretty common that most kids would go out and play unsupervised. I personally don't think I can accept this as an excuse as there is no way I could allow my children out to play unsupervised at such a young age.
Thank you