Last week I said on here that my pdoc was easy to get in touch with, that as soon as I sent her a patient portal message about my levels and mixed episode I'd hear back. Which I almost always do. But every so often we don't connect and this is one of them. I'm surprised because my therapist was going to reach out to her too because he was concerned about the mixed symptoms and my anxiety score was worse than a few weeks ago. They have some agreement that he contacts her when he starts to be concerned to prevent things from getting really bad before I am expressing that things are really bad. But it's been 2 days and I seriously doubt I'll hear from her now.

I do have an appointment Monday. Which may be why I've not heard from her. I hate having to feel bad with no med changes at all until then but I have a feeling that's the way it is going to be. I keep wondering if I should at least reach out and ask if she wants me to come up to see her in person but I don't really feel like 5 hours of driving and I'm definitely going to see her in person in a month. So I don't know. I have to decide tomorrow.

I did manage to load and run the dishwasher last night which is huge. I'm still hoping to throw a load of clothes in the washer tonight but I'm learning to not make plans but do what I can in the moment. Tomorrow I do absolutely have to get my labs done for my clozaril. My order expires after tomorrow and I need to have my pdoc send in a new one when I talk to her Monday.


I just wish there were a way to feel less antsy and simultaneously tired. I'll be so glad to get meds changed, even though I know my clozaril will have to come down instead of going up like is needed. Something else will have to go up I guess. I wish I'd heard from her. But it's only 5 days.