Quote:
I battle with feeling I should live up to her standards
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Ignore her standards!
This is a battle you can never win. People can always find something to criticize if that is their goal. If she wants to put you down, instead of support and encourage you, she will, no matter what you do.
If you want to get a cleaning person because YOU want one, great! If you are doing it just for her, my advice is don't do it. You will feel much better when you are free of her expectations.
I don't garden much either. Life still goes on. 🙂