Tomorrow I see the therapist, a social worker. I’m nervous because her picture looks like a blonde Barbie and she’s young. I never could relate to Barbie’s. The youngest therapist I ever had was around 40, well they have to start somewhere!

Now that I’ve added the 25mg back into my bedtime cocktail I’m sleeping again. My moods back to baseline. The therapist is to help me overcome my fear of losing weight. I associate low weight with both mania and severe depression as I loose weight at both ends of the spectrum and both ends are associated with losing everything. I’m also uncomfortable with the sexualized comments I get when thin. You’d think that at my age they would stop but the males in my cohort never received the pc alert. I never did learn to flirt. I’m a straight shooter. Pretty blunt.