Due to a long history of trauma and abuse, I have severe ptsd and it caused me to have relentless obsessive terrifying thoughts about aging and dying for the past 20 years where I feel constant impending doom and can vividly imagine myself at older ages and hating it and feel myself dying all the time from horrible diseases.

My mind and body are terrorizing me. I feel like I got robbed of a life since I was never able to feel safe at any point or enjoy anything peacefully.

I have tried several treatments, therapy, and medication over the years but nothing has worked well. I lost everything and everyone.

I am now 51 and believe it is too late and am fated to live this way for the rest of my life because my body and health are terrible already and believe that I will not live much longer. My life is completely empty and alone.

I recently started medications but am worried that they will not work and am scared of the side effects. It has only been one week but I am still severely anxious and depressed.

Please pray for me that things will get better. And to everyone else struggling, you do not deserve the bad things that happened to you and I pray for your healing. Thank you.