SXKYUOU I am sorry you are going through this. We are so hard on ourselves when we relapse. Every day is a start of something new and you can build yourself back up again. Be gentle with yourself and I am glad you "couldn't get it right". I cut for a long time, I still get the urges but it has become instinct to tell myself no. Even if I did, it is just a slip. We all fall down sometimes. I don't know if you have seen a therapist in the past, but trying to connect with one may help. I know I have had to go back and relearn certain coping skills, plus add some to the bag.