In my own exp., I tend to take on too much blame for such experiences, wondering what I did, and then what I could DO to alleviate the situation. Often, there is nothing you can or should do. Often it has nothing to do you YOU, but the other person, and I have to agree with Sky here, that one must learn to discern.
I was raised to always dismiss my own voice, my own rights, and have spent a lifetime doing so, accommodating people who cared little for me or my feelings.
Yeah, I might respond to the friend who was hurtful, asking why, but this might also open up more hurt. Try to decide if it's worthwhile for you before doing so.
Patty