Yes! Thank you all of you!

I think it's a mix of everything. I know L wants me to ask for my needs and wants. She wants me to have those things. She told me last night that it actually brings her relief when I ask because then she knows where I'm at and how to help instead of leaving her in the dark. I know she can't read my mind.

I do also agree that maybe she's trying to give me back some of my power, my voice. That if she keeps asking, then I'm not standing up for myself.

Sometimes I do try to ask, but I can't do it directly and clearly. Like asking for an extra session. The average person would straight out ask "Can I have an extra session?". Not me. I ask for a "contact point". Then she's left trying to guess what I mean: an email, call, session? Like why do I get scared about just being straightforward?

There are times I really just wish she knew me well enough to know. Sometimes she does. And those moments have so much meaning to them. Like you wouldn't want to constantly ask if someone loves you. It's nice when they just come out and say it.

Speaking of saying I love you, maybe it's about how I grew up? This reminded me of something my dad told my mom. She asked if he still loved her. Instead of yes, he said "I'll let you know if anything changes". I don't think we asked for wants or needs growing up. Even doctors. I remember several times being sick and they refused to take me. The only time they did anything was because they were forced to.

Trigger for SUI

But this indirect communication started with the most recent pregnancy announcement. So I doubt it has to do with my childhood. Maybe it's trust? I'm not sure.