Hi

I’m 50.

I’ve been there, done that.

Both my parents have lots of siblings, most of whom moved away.

My parents found each other in the same small town that their parents and grandparents were from

Everyone on both sides came back home in the summer and at Christmas. I grew up entrenched with all my aunts, uncles and cousins.

In my adult life I extended myself to visit extended family on my vacations, ask to connect, phoned, emailed, all the things. None of them called back. I was happily greeted, with no effort in return.

I voiced it, said me and my kids needed it, said I wanted kids to know their extended family , asked for interest, support, whatever. I got LOTS of positive responses and zero follow up.

Then it was time to face some things and make choices.

Do I continue to beg for interest? I don’t like how it makes me feel.

Do I continue to pursue people? That was making me bitter.

Do I accept that others see and feel things differently than me?

Do I accept it’s not as important to them?

Do I keep swimming upstream?

Do I feel like this is the tribe to have my back in hard times?

Time, each day and in this lifetime, is limited. Is this a good investment?

Can I let this go, and just happily receive people when or if I see them?

Is this creating bitterness in me? Is it better to try less and harbour better feelings towards these family members.

This hurt for almost two years. Now I’m better.

It’s been SO good to invest in people who call me back. It’s been SO good to have people ask me to visit and ask to come over. And when I don’t, I enjoy my own company and my own interests.

RDMercer