Hi @
purpleobsidian welcome to MSF - I am sorry to hear you are feeling down. That sounds pretty rough.
Since MSF is a site where people get to know each other by posting the stories about what they are going through, you may get a better response by posting some things in the Psychotherapy and or Depression Forums and you may find others with similar feelings.
You are free to message me, including about anything you do not feel comfortable sharing in the forums. Click on CANDC to the left of this post and on Send a Private message to CANDC if you care to message me.
Hope you get the support you are looking for.
CANDC
[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @
CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]