funny.. i was feeling the same way last night and today, and wondering if it will ever get better. Many man many hugs to you.

my t seems to think, correctly or not, that if we crave the love and attention we did not get as children... then it will always be like a hole in a wine bottle... as much as he puts in it will not fill the bottle, we need to meet that need ourselves. Now, please understand that i am not always entirely clear about what he means or is trying to say... i have big issues and doubts and trust problems... so i definitely filter what he says whether i mean to or not. He does not lean close and tell me it's okay... he does not move past a certain line of demonstrative caring. It's frustrating and i don't always know if it is the right appraoch for me - i mean, am i resisting painful change? or am i in need of something else?

but

the reason i am saying it in this thread is to toss out the idea of the healing of caring... and whether an increase of openly demonstrative and direct caring helps a person, or does it help hinder them? My T is very firm about dependence and i do see his point. i cannot tell where the legitimate need for attention, as you refer to it, ends and the schema driven drive to meet a past need begins. It's a difficult balance i think.

im with you Miss... missing T sucks donkey butt