@Blue_Bird - I am always amazed at how much you manage to do each day, and you are absolutely right, staying out of the hospital for so long is an AWESOME achievement! You SHOULD be proud of yourself!

@raspberrytorte - Are you on trazodone too? I take 300 mg Seroquel at night, and I find the Seroquel helps me fall asleep and the trazodone to stay asleep though if I take too much trazodone, I feel hungover the next day, and it will last until 3, 4 PM, which just SUCKS. I have always had immense sleep problems since I was a girl, and I finally found the combo that works for me - 300 mg Seroquel, 50 mg trazodone (used to be 100 mg but that made me feel hungover), 25 mg hydroxyzine, and 20 mg melatonin. Do you read or do anything to calm down like listen to calming music, like Enya (a cliche I know but it has helped me when reading was a chore). I also found I do better when reading a physical book as opposed to an ebook. I turn off the bedroom lights and use a booklight to read. For me, I take all my nightly meds (lamotrigine & busipirone & propranolol along with iron are in there too), read around 1 hr and usually am able to fall asleep pretty quickly. Oh, and when I was pregnant and off psych meds, combining melatonin and valerian helped me sleep. Valerian stinks to high heaven though but maybe it could help?

I went for a walk this morning and had an early pdoc appt. I asked the pdoc for clonazepam, but he didn't want to prescribe it. Ugh! He did increase the buspirone to 10 mg twice a day, up from 7.5 mg and told me I could take 1/2 to 1/4 a tab of trazodone for panic attacks, but I'm not too sure about that, trazodone tends to make me sleepy or if not asleep, still gives me a feeling tired, hangover effect. I already had to cut my nightly trazodone from 100 mg to 50 mg because of the hangover effect in the morning. But, if I don't take it, I wake in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep. I think I'll just stick with using 25 mg Seroquel for panic attacks since taking an extra hydroxyzine doesn't help either.