Lost,
I can see how that would be beneficial. To be completely honest, doing writing or a vision board of what a healthy relationship with L would look like, scares me so bad. Technically, in my head, I know what would need to change (e.g. everyday contact). But saying, writing, actually processing those things is terrifying. Because I don't want to face the unhealthy parts. Again, like everyday contact. I don't think I was doing that with T. I'm not sure though. But with L we spend a ton of time communicating with each other Every.Single.Day. She's my therapist, not my friend. Most of the time, it's not casual talk. It is about some sort of processing. But even that should be saved for sessions. I need to live my own life, not a life through her. AND it's terrifying!!! Even admitting some of it here in this response is scary.

H thinks L and I should stop pretty much all texts and emails. I don't agree with him, but he thinks we should just do phone calls. He believes, and is right, that most our communication problems are started from misunderstandings in writing. And that the problem only gets worse until we talk via phone of in-person.

I will think on it. Maybe even have a discussion with H as he's been a good sounding board lately. I know, in the end, he just wants me to be happy. With or without L, doesn't matter so long as I'm happy in life. But I'm not happy. And I need to start taking care of myself.