It’s really interesting reading your post. I go through long periods where I feel exactly like this. I have come to realise, however, that this is down to my own state of mind and my own unrealistic expectations. In my case, I know this low tolerance of socialising and dealing with people is directly linked to the state of my mental health.

I have been focusing recently on being more accepting and less critical of people’s actions. That said, I think it can be good to evaluate who you do and don’t allow into your life. I try and make this as objective as possible now, by assessing how my friendships work. I ask my self, are my efforts and time reciprocated, or am I the one doing all of the “heavy lifting” in a relationship, and is this relationship a healthy one. I found that if I stopped interacting with people who I felt weren’t making me feel good, or I was in a one way street in terms of effort, one of two things happened - either they noticed and started putting effort in to our friendship, or they drifted away. If they noticed and began returning the effort in the relationship then I worked on that relationship.

That said, I do appreciate that, in my case, I need to look at my own actions and try not to have unrealistic expectations of people. We never know what’s going on in other people’s minds - the stresses and strains that are under, the pain and suffering that they may be keeping quiet, and this will inevitably affect how they interact with us. I had a working relationship with someone who I always thought was extremely unkind, aggressive and dismissive of other people. However, over time I began to understand why, as I took the time to understand and think about the struggle that they had had all throughout their life. Taking time to understand people, and acknowledge who they are and what they have experienced can change a relationship for the better.

I find life tough. It’s not easy is it. The older I get the more I realise I don’t know, and still need to learn. Every day is a school day.

Best wishes, Jeff.