My Support Forums - View Single Post

nonightowl · Today at 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Sorry it took a few days. I've been overwhelmed.

Yes, it helped. Nothing will make the grief go away (and nothing should; it's normal to feel grief) but it can help make sense of the feelings. I did it immediately after my loss but it's actually better to do it a little later and there were people in there who were further out.

I agree with waiting and not doing it right away. I once did this and was overwhelmed with the "intake" process of filling out forms, answering their invasive questions, my privacy and what they collect, etc.

Personally I use a physical wound as an analogy. It heals, but a scar remains. Time definitely helps, and I mean YEARS not months. That void is always there, it doesn't go away. This time of the year is especially BRUTAL with the media's talk of "family and friends." Stick in a knife in me, that would hurt less.

I've had so many losses (both expected and unexpected), I've lost count. There's no time frame, there's no "supposed to". Even those stages of grief aren't linear, and not everyone experiences all of those stages. And since each person is unique, so is the process for each loss.

It's okay if you don't feel much or don't know what to call it. Or if things like your concentration is off. Writing things down might help. Books on it might help.

Just wanted to say I've been there, and I wish our culture (America) allowed for the open expression of grief. There's a denial of death (and aging) here, and I think it's so soul crushing and unhealthy. People are full of platitudes, and heaven help the person who says "Thing happen for a reason."