I lost both my parents in 2019, @Frog4Life, they passed within six weeks of each other. Mum had just had enough of an 18 month struggle with cancer, and Dad’s aged body just gave up.

Your post really resonated with me. I think it’s very misleading to think that “time heals all things”. I don’t think it does, as such. That said, I no longer see it as a bad thing. It’s not unusual for a memory to crop up now, of my Mum, that can really make me cry. However, it reminds me how much I loved my Mum, and how much I miss her, and in a strange way I embrace that now. I don’t care if I cry, or if someone sees me cry - emotions are important, and shouldn’t be suppressed. Usually within a few minutes I focus on the fact that we had a lot of happy times. My Mum’s positivity was incredible - it had to be, she had to put up with my Dad, which could be very challenging at times.

I often talk of my Mum with family and friends, sometimes it’s tearful, but more often than not it’s laughter at some of the crazy things she used to do and say. In that way, I keep her alive in my mind, and I often ask myself, what would my Mum do in this situation, what would she advise, and more often than not I can hear her voice in my mind.

I would say don’t be afraid of the grief. I appreciate this might sound a bit crazy. Think of it like a wave washing over you as you walk into the sea from the beach, let it wash over you and pass, and when it does think of the love you experienced, and relive a truly joyful moment. Focus on those, and remember that by doing this you are in a way keeping your parents alive.

Your parents will have played a massive role in your life. It’s important to remember them. I once heard a lady talking about grief, and she commented that people die twice. They die once in the physical sense, and then for a second time when their name is spoken by someone for the very last time. When I sat and thought about this, it really stopped me in my tracks. For many of us we will fade away as an obscurity in history, and so it’s important that we keep people’s memories alive as long as we can.

I hope my comments don’t upset you, or make your grief worse, it’s just that this is how I have dealt with it successfully.