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But again, my cycle has always been to not let anyone ever get close to me and if they do get rid of them before they do you.

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Hanginon,

Is it possible that questioning the relationship now is "getting rid of her?" It sounds as if you are beginning to understand yourself.

It took me forever to feel close to T and another forever to be able to be open with him, which frankly just occurred recently.

Give yourself time to let the relationship grow and allow yourself to discuss these concerns with T, as Echoes said.

You are doing the work of therapy. Good job!