I think this is really positive in a way, because you have recognised the pointlessness of obsessing over it, and that the only person you are hurting is yourself. This is a point where you can choose to move on and put them both out of your mind.

I’m an obsessive person, and sometimes I know I have to go through a long period to the point where whatever it is I am obsessing about drives me close to the point of exhaustion. Then it’s like a black cloak being lifted off me, and I start to see the importance of focusing on other things - no matter how small, no matter how short a time. It’s breaking the thought pattern that matters.

They don’t matter - you do. You deserve to find a happy future, and some peace and quiet, irrespective of what has happened in the past.

With my own struggles, over many years, I have gradually come to realise that the only person who can truly help me is myself. Counselling helps, medication helps, but ultimately I have to choose to help myself, to have faith that I can help myself, that I can get over whatever life throws at me. It’s not easy though.

I feel your pain.