Cleaned my apartment pretty thoroughly. Feels good. I’m even more tired now and achy. I made the decision not to go to the nutrition class. I’m too tired. Tomorrow I’m going to the wreath making thing though, and the potluck on Friday. I could take a nap right now I’m so tired, but I don’t think that’d be a good idea since it’s almost 2pm and it might mess up my sleep tonight. I’d rather just sleep good tonight and sleep in tomorrow. If I can. My cat has been waking me up around 4am every day and it’s hard to sleep because starts with patting my face with her paw then moves on to biting my hands/fingers if I don’t get up. She ran out of dry food in the middle of the night so I refilled her dish and gave her breakfast (wet food) since I had to be up early anyway for the food pantry.

I felt a very slight sense of dissociation earlier today because I was a little overwhelmed after the food pantry but it was very minor and dissipated fast. So this is new. My dissociation has gotten a lot better and less frequent in the past few weeks.

My mood is good. Not depressed. Not manic. In good spirits. Sleep is so-so. I tend to get around 6 hours a night lately. I’m tired a lot. I do a lot better on 9-10 hours. I keep waking up at 2-4am and not being able to fall back asleep. I haven’t smoked weed in over a week now. Staying away from it permanently. Less irritable the past week. Which is nice cause I was feeling extremely irritable and paranoid and agitated for awhile. Taking my meds consistently. Staying on top of household chores, hygiene etc. that stuff goes right out the window when I’m not doing well.

In about a month I’ll be my own payee. I just have to be really, really careful. I’ve had a payee since I was 19 years old and I’m 30 now. I feel ready but at the same time I’m afraid I’ll get impulsive and overspend which was a problem for me especially so when manic.