I was diagnosed with bipolar a couple of years back. Knew something was wrong but didn't know what until then. Since then and before I will go into a spell and have sex with men and woman. I am in a relationship not the most healthiest one not very supportive of my needs in any way but I have been with this man since I was 16 years old. Recently about a month ago I had a spell and went and found 2 random guys took them home and had sex with them and after words I felt really bad. And I am nervous all the time cause I can not talk about it with anybody. When i am normal I do not do that kind of stuff but I get manic I will do what ever and it is usaully sex oriented. I can't take the pressure of the things I do I really try to be good. And I am wondering is this behavior really the real me or is there some underlining issue. I have been molested before and I thought I was over all of that but when men start to touch me I freeze up and let them have their way when I am with women it is diffrent I have fun and they do to does that make me gay not that I have a problem with it but my family sure would. And I love sex with men too I seem to want to pleasethem for some reason. Is bipolar a real mental desiese I read that it is chemical imbalence in your brainif that is the case why is it not treated by society like a real desiese. All the people where I live do not want to hear about my husband even said one time it is all in your head. well duhthat is my point.