I need to get all this off my chest if I want to get any sleep. I need to get the poison out of me before I try going back to bed.

I am so pissed off about my work situation -- I am a temp in a closed-door pharmacy right now, and while it's the schedule I like, it's still pharmacy. I have been applying to non-medical jobs left and right. I've even looked to AI for job inspiration, and to be fair, ChatGPT has come up with some ideas I hadn't considered before. No success yet. I've been at this job for two months, and I'm already training new hires, only to find out that these people haven't even worked in a pharmacy before. Since I have no interest in pharmacy anymore, I don't know why this enrages me so much, but it does. I'm training someone to do my job who doesn't know jack **** about pharmacy, and who will be making the same amount of money I make, when I have almost ten years of pharmacy experience... SCREW THAT. And one of these women is so ****ing stupid that I just want to smack her every time she opens her mouth. Someone didn't just put stupid in her water, they seriously spiked it with 86-proof Imbecile. I have to block my ears and turn away when I see her. So this is where I'm at -- miserable, resentful, and barely scraping by while training idiots. This has to end.

I'm sick of the ****ing mild weather -- it's Colorado and it's November. It should be much, MUCH colder than it is. We got some snow at the beginning and it was wonderful. Now it's warm again. ****ing global warming and climate change are pissing me off big-time. I am so sick of this ****. Enough said.

I'm not actively trying to lose weight anymore, because it's pointless. The process is painful, exhausting, and miserable -- and I would still do it despite all that if I actually got any results. But I don't. I am not going to exist on less than 300 calories' worth of rabbit food that I purge myself of and be bruised all over like I used to be back when I was anorexic and bulimic. I will not. That is not living. Maybe I'm just going to be fat. Whatever. We will all die from something at some point anyway. I'm ****ing done.

I am just in a headspace right now where I am full of piss and vinegar, as my gran used to say. Writing this, getting it out somewhere, helps a little. I don't want much -- I just want enough to pay my bills every month and a job that doesn't make me want to slam my head against a wall. I want snow. I am tired of this.