I am a vet who finally got the VA to approve ketamine treatment. Unfortunately, they referred me to a private clinic. I went for a consultation and it went well. Despite my epilepsy causing havoc whenever I disassociate they thought it would still be helpful even though they said they would likely have to pump me full of Ativan. So, they scheduled 12 initial appointments, and the first is this coming Tuesday.

I have had psychotic depression and anxiety every single day for 29 years. In the past year, they have also been probing me to see if I have bipolar and PTSD. No medication has ever helped with the depression - lots of dangerous side effects though.

Last Friday, I got an email from the clinic. Due to a paperwork snafu, they haven't received payments from the VA in months so they are canceling all VA-approved appointments after December 1. That means I can have just one appointment.

They offered to continue at a discounted $405 a session, but that would drain my savings within 3 months. It would drain much faster since I have to deal with appliances breaking down and getting a leak in my roof fixed.

I lived for years ending each month with less than $5 in my bank account and having to donate plasma to eat and because of that, draining my savings causes massive amounts of stress.

Oddly, I do have a Medicaid card, but they don't pay for it.

Is it worth going in just once? Since any positive effects are transient and they want me to go in twice a week for quite a while it feels like a poor risk/reward. Especially if I feel good for a day or two afterward, that might send me over the edge that I am very close to.

Edit: This is the only ketamine clinic within 300 miles that has a contract with the VA.