I'm angry that just because I'm autistic society deems me a burden and worthy of mockery. Just because I'm not like you all useless Judgy Neurotypical ****s.

I'm Angry that I was denied sisterhood all because I wasn't like all the other girls. The weird kid. The freak that rocked back and forth. The Freak who just can't get it. The little girl who got weird looks and treated like the punch line of some offensive joke. Angry that I can't even complain, Because it just adds fuel to the fire

I'm Angry at the women who treat me like I'm just some naive, stupid little girl to infantalize and mistreat. The Walking charity case. The Stupid little girl to dismiss and diminish the true weight of her trauma because you don't want to admit you ****ed up as a mother. The Girl whom you thought so little of that you'd try and watch her change her pad in the bathroom.

I'm Angry that I can't just get over it. There's starving kids in Siberia. There's people being bombed and displaced in palestine. There's Black people being shot by police in the streets. There's People being sold like cattle around the globe. She didn't even touch me, why am I so mad about this.

I'm Angry that my trauma can't be something normal. Why coulden't My Abuser be a Man? Why didn't she touch me? Molest me physically?

I'm Angry that I'm being punished for the depraved things that somebody else did.

I'm Angry that I'm so ugly, Why is my ****ing forehead so big, Why do I have acne scars, Blackheads, Why does my voice sound like that, Why is my hair so ****ing frizzy and curly, Why are my legs so ****ing short. I hate my body. I want to fix it. I want bigger tits. I just can't love the girl that stares back at me everytime i look into the mirror. I hate that all that the world has to offer me in this regard is a ****** "You're perfect just the way you are!". No, You don't ****ing know me. What does the DOVE soap brand know about me?

I'm ANGRY that I'm so bad about Math. I hate going to tutoring lessons, But I can't complain because it dosen't matter how I feel, I have to ****ing go anyways. I hate being a few worthless points off from passing the test. I hate being told that I'm so smart but I just have to try harder next time. I don't think I can pass this Stupid test. I've failed it 5 ****ing times and I have another Retake Test next week, so I'll probably have to increase that number to 6. I hate having 2 hour sessions during saturday's.

I'm ANGRY at My ****ing mom. I hate the way she talks. I hate her so much. I hate that stupid ****ing resting ***** face she makes at me when I do something she dosen't like. I hate that she treats me like some baby that can't go somewhere on her own. I hate how she ignores how I feel. I hate how she refuses to accept the gravity of what happened to me. I hate every bit of her. I want to ****ing gut her. I hate that she never listens to me. I hate the stupid face she makes when I cry or show any negative emotions, I just know she's thinking "Oh Great, Here We go AGAIN, I have to actually try and comfort this hysterical charity case that I legally have to take care of" I love her. I hate her. I'm a Horrible Daughter.

I'm angry at everything. I hate every single part of myself. I hate it. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't wanna live like this. I'm not going to kill myself.

I hate that this stupid ****ing post is gonna get like two comments from the same people that I'm 99 Percent sure are bots or some ****. I just want somebody to listen to me. I just want somebody to give me attention.

I'm the worst.