Have Hope, I wish I could find some sensible and practical advice to give you. I can’t begin to imagine the painful emotions and feelings you are experiencing. We’re all unique, along with how we interpret and feel things, and I think that’s what makes it so hard to deal with the world. There’s no magic bullet solution.

It is interesting to read what you said about your theory of attracting toxic and abusive people. I know quite a few people who have said the same thing, and all of those same people are very kind, sensitive, caring and empathetic people. I think the problem is that abusers and toxic people take advantage of this. I’ve never understood why some people choose to be manipulators and abusers. There is so much more to be gained from making people happy, and contributing to their happiness.

There are good people out there - it seems many of them on these forums too. I just hope that some of them cross paths with you and make your life better.