Quote:
Originally Posted by NovaBlaze
Have Hope, I wish I could find some sensible and practical advice to give you. I can’t begin to imagine the painful emotions and feelings you are experiencing. We’re all unique, along with how we interpret and feel things, and I think that’s what makes it so hard to deal with the world. There’s no magic bullet solution.
It is interesting to read what you said about your theory of attracting toxic and abusive people. I know quite a few people who have said the same thing, and all of those same people are very kind, sensitive, caring and empathetic people. I think the problem is that abusers and toxic people take advantage of this. I’ve never understood why some people choose to be manipulators and abusers. There is so much more to be gained from making people happy, and contributing to their happiness.
There are good people out there - it seems many of them on these forums too. I just hope that some of them cross paths with you and make your life better.
|
Thank you @
NovaBlaze.
I am 54 years old. I've been around the block. There are so many more toxic people in this world than I ever knew or realized.
This morning I was kicking myself for not walking away from my ex husband when I saw the first warning signs. I was in a desperate situation having been told suddenly to move out of my parents home. I moved in with my boyfriend after one month of dating. That boyfriend turned into my husband, who turned out to be an abusive narcissist.
I am a very caring, empathetic, sensitive, and kind hearted person. Toxic types are attracted to people like me and do take advantage of kind hearts.
Abusers model themselves after the abuse they experienced or witnessed as children. And narcissists are their own breed of abusers that are also shaped by their environment.
So, it's the environment they grew up in that determines who they become, just as mine does and yours does.
I saw warning signs in my then boyfriend and dismissed them because I was so desperate for a place to live. It was disastrous for me that my parents kicked me out of their home. They told me they were moving and that I had to move out. So a month later, I moved in with him.
What a vast mistake. I wish I had negotiated with my parents to give me more time to find a home. I wish I had paid attention to the warning signs that I witnessed.
Perhaps I would be in a far different place right now had I never moved in with my ex husband and married him. Perhaps my mental state would be better.
I do not have much hope that there are many good people left in this world - single people that is.
I may have to die alone and live out the rest of my days alone. I am just so disheartened by my experiences. I must have a sign on my forehead that says "if you're toxic or abusive, come to me!"
The title of my thread really should be "Building a Whole New Life.. Alone".