I ate junk and felt wretched, even SI. Then i made some good food choices and felt better. I wish i didn't feel so out-of-control and obsessed with food. I'm not really happy with my frozen meal service because it's meat-based. I prefer to be vegan or at least vegetarian. Now that i have my new shaker bottle i'm getting back with my protein powder, so it's an option again.

I guess i'll be flexitarian until my supply of frozen meals runs out and just not order again. And i'll have to reconsider buying more junk. My doctor says the threshold is your front door. If it gets past it, you're going to eat it. I can try mindful eating too. It's easy to say now because it's night and i feel good. In the morning i feel hungover from my meds so it's hard to make good choices then.

I've tried Overeaters Anonymous but their program doesn't appeal to me. I wish i didn't have this struggle, i wish i could just not care. But it torments me.

I could look into reducing my meds, much as that scares me. Well, i guess if nothing changes, nothing changes...