My guy, that is all manipulation. Some people are so deeply troubled it isn't even conscious manipulation, it's just how they operate.

Those tactics are so, so reeking of manipulation.

I spent 6 years in counselling of and on, 5 years in counselling regularly, tearing myself apart, trying to find what was wrong with me. NONE of us are perfect, and we ALL have some issue or some baggage.

But it wasn't me, it was her.

I hadn't done anything to play games, to manipulate, to give mixed messages, nothing.

What would happen if you did any of those things to her? Would she be with you, or gone?

What if you said, "I really miss music. If we're together I want an evening a week to pursue my music, and 10 Saturdays a year to play golf." Would that be an issue?

What if she said, "I want one evening a week to do something I get fulfillment from, and 10 Saturdays a year to do something that gives me peace." Would you support her?

What if you said, "I need to feel wanted and needed by you. Will you take part in my music, or just listen to me play maybe once a month? Could you take a turn planning a date night for me every other month?"

What if she said, " "I need to feel wanted and needed by you. Will you take part in something meaningful to me once a month? Could you take a turn planning a date night for me every other month?"

What if you said, "The communication between us really leaves me confused. If we're staying together, I want us to do maybe six counselling sessions together to sort this out, and limit our physical intimacy until we feel secure and safe together."

What if she said, "The communication between us really leaves me confused. If we're staying together, I want us to do maybe six counselling sessions together to sort this out, and limit our physical intimacy until we feel secure and safe together."

These statements above are really, really healthy statements. Try them on her. See how she responds.

At some point, you have to trust the evidence, not your heart, and not your sex drive.