Blueberry - a gf of mine who was hospitalized for an attempt uses an SAD light. I believe she also did ECT. Now she lives a pretty structured life. Like you, she is super intelligent. Unlike me, she was regularly promoted at work but we both found the environments untenable.

You know the Thoreau quote of the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Like the ads tell gay kids that it gets better, we should have ads telling women it gets tons better after menopause. Honestly, i would be sui one day and the next day chipper as a squirrel. My 2nd H wanted to rent a motel for himself for one week out of the month for how i was (altho i think it was for how he was too!).

Sometimes i am disappointed in myself that im not doing more, but i think we are doing the best we can.