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Old Nov 29, 2024, 11:46 AM
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Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,756
What is wrong? What is going on?

I have been bullied in different jobs by at least 6 different people who have been either my direct supervisor or a more senior colleague.

I am being bullied yet again by yet another boss in my current job. I am trying to understand why.

I do my job very well, and I am very successful in my career. I am also very intelligent and offer great solutions and ideas. I am hard working, diligent, responsible, professional, respectful of others, and diplomatic. I am polite in my communications with others, and I frequently (if not always) express my gratitude to colleagues for their hard work and/or assistance.

My current boss who is bullying me now is far less intelligent, and I don't think she's all that successful in her career. She has remained at the same level position for many years, despite. being in the same company for over 21 years. She did not go to a good college, and I went to a very good college. I have also not seen one ounce of her own work since I started there nearly a year and a half ago. I have not seen her develop or give a single group presentation, even though all of us who report to her do, and even though her own boss does. She has not given any presentations in team meetings, even though all of us do.

She is very loud and is a kiss up. She talks out of both sides of her mouth often, and I've seen her talk badly about colleagues behind their backs, while being sugary nice to them to their face. On LinkedIn, she likes to comment on all our CEO's posts, saying inappropriate things such as "I'm so proud of you!" What she should be saying instead is "I am proud to be a part of your organization!" The CEO is NOT her son OR her employee.

She berates me frequently, coming down very hard on me, and sometimes in front of other people. She singles me out on our team and makes me feel invisible by treating me very differently than everyone else,. She has insulted me in front of team members, and has been overtly rude to me in front of other team members. She plays favorites on our team, and it's 100% crystal clear that she favors my other two team members over me.

I've read in psychology articles that bully bosses bully and target those people they feel inferior and envy towards - those that are more successful and smarter or more competent than they are.

Is this what could be going on? I don't know how I could be offending her otherwise. I know I am not perfect by any means, but I am a good employee. I do my work to the best of my abilities and always push myself to do better. I do have high ambitions and look for ways to succeed. Is there anything wrong with wanting to shine in my job????

My question then is: what is it about bully bosses that cause them to target certain people?

I am not weak and I am not insecure either. And I am not "too nice" at work. I just go to work and get the work done.

So what is it??? Is it exactly like I've read about online? Are those the true reasons why this happens? And why it keeps happening to me over and over again?
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes