That is not a therapist - she is unethical and needs to be reported. What she is doing is abuse.
Yes, love can exist between humans. However, love does not mean forcing oneself on another (which she repeatedly keeps doing), love does not mean disregarding the other's boundaries (she violates how you feel, dismisses what you want for the sake of pushing her agenda and satisfying her needs). Is that your definition of love?
Quote:
|
I don't know why I cried because she didn't actually do anything wrong she just put her hand on my shoulder.
|
She does a lot of things wrong. She is pushing you into feeling unsafe instead of instilling safety and regulation. She keeps re-traumatizing you. She is causing harm.
Quote:
|
Why do I feel like I need her? What is wrong with me, why am I feeling like the same child I was even back then?
|
Because this is exactly what is happening - her actions (i.e. boundary violations) are retraumatizing you. Your trauma response is reverting back to a powerless child. Would you treat a child like that and call it love? This is abuse.
Quote:
|
Why does this keep happening to me??? Why can't I just be happy? She is a nice person, but I feel so scared. What the hell is wrong with me!?
|
There is nothing wrong with you. You are responding appropriately to a situation where you keep being re-triggered. You do not feel safe with her. Heck, your own body keeps telling you to run.
Quote:
|
All I ever wanted was someone to care and she said she cares.
|
Are words enough for you? Does it reflect care when someone says they care, yet their actions are damaging, frightening or traumatising? You call that love?
She is keeping you dependent and unsafe. This is not care. This is not love. And this is most certainly not therapy. This is a predator preying on someone who is vulnerable.