Hi Peppermint Patty,

I was reading your posts, and I had to register to respond to your question. I could have written those posts myself not too long ago.

So, a few thoughts for you about how to deal with women in the workplace.

The best way to cope with a difficult work environment, is to have something outside of work that you love. Find some sort of art or sport or social group -- something to provide some balance to the negativity that you encounter at your job.

I don't know about where you work, but after being betrayed several times by coworkers, I now adopt the rule of not sharing secrets with people I work with. If I tell one person, I try to imagine the whole office knowing. If it is something I don't want the whole office to know, I tell a friend I don't work with.

As for dealing with difficult women, try to find at least one thing about the woman you can like or admire. Maybe they are really good at their job, or they have kind eyes, or they keep their space clean...
Take time away from work to find these good qualities. Then, next time you talk to them, remember the good things. People instinctively like other people who like them. Whether we realize it or not, we broadcast our feelings through nonverbal cues. So, these women know you don't like them, but you have the ability to change that.

As for dealing with Human Resources -- document everything that happens. I would also recommend a free consultation with an attorney. The HR folks talk to their attorneys, and it is a good idea to protect yourself by gathering knowledge about your rights and the company responsibilities.

If the whole workplace is toxic to your health and well being, look for another job or consider other sources of income. No job is worth your happiness.

Take time to care for yourself through this. Maybe pedicures are silly girly things, but it feels great to relax for a while and have your feet rubbed.

Owl