I'm back into the wild and free psych ward (Society)

I can't read books without Dexedrine.. When I'm on it, my brain fog is gone. I see my psychiatrist in 2 weeks.

I made an appointment with my GP to help get me off of the clonidine. I won't take any more atenolol, cuz my physical anxiety/heart seems pretty fine - I've been on 25mg 2x a day (Instead of 50mg 2x a day) - It would be awesome if I can get off of atenolol..

I'm going to have to be honest and let my outpatient psychiatrist know exactly what happened.. A horror show.. Then I just want to take a low dose of Dexedrine (Cuz the Vyvanse felt like a placebo - And just overstimulated me).

The hospital psychiatrist said that "A stimulant isn't in your best interest".. Well I've been on a stimulant for over 10 years.. It really helps, and doesn't cause psychosis for me.. It helps with negative symptoms.

My mom wants me to not use the MacBook Pro in the morning or the evening - So I'll do that, and just do other things instead - Like reading books, meditating, going for walks, exercising, doing something creative.. Idk..

I plan to go hang out with people in the community here again...

I have an appointment for therapy on Thursday (For addictions and mental health) - So that'll be interesting.. I am not a normal addict though.. I don't crave opioids, stimulants, ketamine, nicotine, alcohol, weed.. I'm interested in psychedelics - But I can go without them for a long time...

Everything is okay IMO.. I am secure in my own reality... I want to push myself to do something meaningful.. Just chill RN though.

I'm going skiing for my mom's 60th birthday tomorrow - Bought a ski pass for 1135 dollars.. Ouch... So I better make use of it. I also set up the treadmill that I bought (I can put it under my bed when I'm not using it) - It's pretty awesome.