Quote:
Originally Posted by NovaBlaze
There isn’t an easy answer to this, unfortunately. You’ve tried to address the issue calmly and rationally, and it sounds like you’ve hit a brick wall.
I don’t think your boss’s attitude is going to change without dramatic intervention from someone higher up. It’s a question of whether you think you can get that support from higher up - and even if you do, you face the age old problem of then potentially having to go back and work with that boss - unless your claims are sufficient to have her removed from post, or you moved teams. In the latter case it then depends on how receptive your new boss is, and will they know the history of your current issues.
From my experience, there’s no happy ending in this scenario. I know you said you don’t want to move, but you have to balance up the short term pain of finding another job, against the continual daily war with your current boss. Which is the lesser of the two evils? Or, you try and find a way of ignoring the situation with your current boss in a way that allows you to continue working effectively. Again, if that can’t happen, you have to balance up your options.
As an aside, what is it, do you think, that your boss likes about the people she is buying roses and team lunches for?
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NovaBlaze, thank you so much for your reply!
I can't move companies right now. I don't have it in me to interview and to find another role. I am in a good company now, with great benefits and a good salary. I like my teammates. My boss is the only issue and hurdle.
I also spent the last 16 years looking for a new job. I need to stay put. I am exhausted.
I can try and ignore it and go about my business. The next time it happens, I will confront it again, but this time much more firmly and directly.
I've been reading that it's good and best to stand up to a bully, even at work.
I am speaking about it with her boss tomorrow. I am going to ask him not to speak with her directly about it, because I don't want any retaliation or further isolation and discomfort within my small team environment.
I talked to a colleague about it yesterday. She said that;'s not her experience.
I believe that the teammates she likes better do not threaten her job at all. I am the only one on the team that could potentially come close to threatening her job.
I've read that bosses bully when they feel threatened. So I must threaten her in some way.
I'm now wondering if others have come forward with complaints about her. She has seemed to be unusually very stressed at times, saying things like, oh the new Director may ask us what our priorities are at any time. She should know what her priorities are; the fact that she was stressed about it tells me she hasn't a clue.