What do I do?

I had a pdoc appointment today, and nope, now I have to wait until late January to talk to her because I'm a fkin dumbass who can't tell time.

I "needed" that shyt. Apparently. It was gonna be useless probably, but ughhh. My mmooods have been all over the fking place I'm hallucinating every day I'm self harming in some very creative ways I don't know how to eat. For the past few days the only time I don't feel things SOOO INTENSELY I'M GONNA CRY is when I'm high af which was not last night.