Hi Couch,

Today is one of those weird anniversaries that don't make sense to anyone else.
Five months since I gained insight into the circumstances surrounding Steve's death.

Being a Friday and so close to the festiveness, I didn't want to put myself through ringing the helpline and not getting to speak to someone.

His birthday is the Thursday after next, and although I have a session with R that day, I have no idea what I want to do to mark the day.

I seem to float between wanting to do something, and not wanting to do anything.

The new understanding is the complicating factor here.

Also, there are warnings for 70mph winds here tomorrow, so we have decided to move the last kids' writing workshop of the year online.

It doesn't make sense to expect people to travel in those conditions...and I wasn't too keen on it anyway.

I need space to fall apart, and I have no idea when I'm going to get it.

Lost