I am sorry to hear you're upset. I've read a bit of what you've written in various threads and it seems for me like you someone familiar.
I hope you find some energy in a few days, and this is temporary. I love it when people can celebrate Christmas (I didn't have many of those holidays as a child, and as I've grown up, I've only felt depressed during the holidays).
And you mentioned you have a place to go, it's so cool. I also found a place to go in New Year evening. I think it would be helpful.
People who can lift their spirits with Christmas, I believe in you.