Enough people here have told you this isn't a good relationship, and nothing you just wrote will change anybody's perspective. She's just justifying her abuse of position over you. "It's okay I remind you of someone who fked you up because I'm trying to get you comfortable with an action that traumatized you in the same way even though it makes you feel the same now as it did then," does that sound okay? Logically, step back out of your shoes, and ask if that sounds reasonable?