i think it's time. Two years ago i got a tattoo to remind me daily to be courageous.. i had a tough road ahead of me and i needed to just keep moving. It's been a valuable thing for me and i am so proud to have it. i promised myself that one day, when i had arrived at or near the end of that road, i would give myself another tattoo to represent that arrival. The lotus is atradtional symbol in tattooing that represents emergence or completion of a difficult journey. The lotus begins in the mud and must get through dark times to emerge as a beautiful flower. i think it's perfect.

i think i am there... or near enough to there. The road, of course, was the issue of leaving my xH... last session, in my frustration, i blurted out "if i could just do anything i'd just cut him off and walk away!" T almost jumped out of his chair. His face brightened up noticably and he told me it was the first time , in 16 months, that he has heard me say that.... to be wanting to just have it stop and be free... to not feel the urge to run back... to be more inclined to get away from the daily drain rather than stop it by aquiessing. He's right... something changed recently.