@Blue_Bird - It's awesome that you've gone so long without dissociating! I dissociate a lot and wish it would stop, but IDK, I've been doing it since I was a kid. My pdoc has suggested EMDR for me too, but I'm just not sure I have it in me to commit.

I woke up at 3 AM this morning, wide awake and then took a 7 mi power walk in the dark. Sometimes I think I'm losing it But then I showered, used the SAD lamp. I had an appt. with my neurologist this morning regarding the peripheral neuropathy I have in my feet. I lost some weight probably from these power walks and up & downs in mood and my blood pressure was 102/70 which is a bit low for me. Mostly it was routine, but he wants bloodwork again. He said if my iron doesn't look better this time around, he's going to refer me to a hematologist for an iron infusion. Ugh. I've had those before, what a pain. So I have an appt. to get blood taken tomorrow morning.

After I came home, I sketched some. Amazingly, it really seemed to help my anxiety and the best thing was when I was sketching, all I could think about was the sketching process - no racing thoughts, no SI thoughts, just thoughts about drawing. My skill isn't great but I hope at least the pictures look like what they are supposed to be.